Matthew 23
So today I was hanging out in Portland. There was this big festival so a bunch of people were out and about. The day was beautiful. Perfect. Then some jerkoff religious nut had to ruin it all. He started going off on this huge diatribe about how awful pastors and priests and elders are. I’m a good Christian dude so I was seriously offended. I also felt bad for the guy. He obviously had a screw loose. Whatever he was, he was viciously angry. I wonder if he knows that anger is consuming. I wonder if he knows that the church should be united. I wonder if he knows that we should love one another. I wonder if he knows that it is sinful to speak out against God’s anointed. It sure didn’t sound like he had gotten the message. The following is what I can recall of his crazy hate-filled speech to the crowd:
Pastors want to tell you what the Bible says, and a lot of what they say is true on a level but you couldn’t tell it from their lives because most of the stuff they talk about they don’t actually do. They weigh their followers down with all these insane rules and ridiculous expectations, but they don’t make any effort to help anyone. At the same time they make it look like they are always helping people. They do things like hand out giant checks to charity on the local news like some corporate America PR stunt, and they do all this because they want people to think they are awesome. They want people to look up to them and follow them and recognize them when they are at the grocery store and tell them how awesome they are and what great examples they are and what powerful teachers they are.
You shouldn’t want people to think you are a great teacher or great example because Jesus is the only teacher and the rest of us are his students, we’re all just brothers and sisters. Seriously, you guys are always talking about the “church fathers” or calling your priests father. God is the only one we should call Father. You want people to see you as a leader? Why? You should know that there is only room for one leader, Jesus. Anyone who thinks they are awesome should be brought down. The way God works is to make the people who think they are awesome look like idiots and people who realize how pathetic they really are he will make strong through himself.
But pastors and priests, bullshit artists, you are screwed because you keep everyone out of Heaven, the people who are following you, the people who were already on their way in, and even yourselves.
Also pastors and priests, bullshit artists, you are screwed because you rob widows, and at the same time try to make yourselves look spiritual through fancy prayers and long tiresome sermons. This is just going to make you even more condemned before God.
Also pastors and priests, bullshit artists, you are screwed because you make such a big deal about missions but the converts you make half way around the world are twice the children of Hell as you are.
You blind “leaders” are screwed because you tell people that the most important thing is giving money to the church. You fools and blind men! Money is worthless unless God chooses to use it!
You also tell people that the offering plate is only worth anything if you fill it with your checks. You blind men, paper checks are worthless unless they are used to serve others in Christ’s love!
So if you write a check to help serve others in Christ’s love, your check is valuable as an expression of that love. If you desire to grow in Christ with your brothers and sisters, no matter where you meet, it is special because of why you are meeting there. The only reason that even Heaven is important is because God is king there. I think you see the theme here!
Also pastors and priests, bullshit artists, you are screwed because you always drop your check in the offering plate, but somehow miss what actually matters: justice and mercy and faithfulness; but these things are the real point! It’s like you blind “leaders” are trying to get a fly out of your soup when there is a huge shit sitting in it!
Also pastors and priests, bullshit artists, you are screwed because, to make things look good to others, you clean the outside of your cup, but inside it is full of spoiled milk, i.e. robbery and self-indulgence. You blind “leaders”, wouldn’t it make more sense to clean the inside of the cup first, you know, where you drink from, and then worry about the outside?
Also pastors and priests, bullshit artists, you are screwed because you are like those fancy tombs in the graveyard that have all those cool carvings of angels and flowers and stuff and actually look really awesome, but inside they are full of disgusting rotten corpses. You are just like that; on the outside you look like real good christians, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.
Also pastors and priests, bullshit artists, you are screwed because you celebrate the resurrection of Jesus and cannot believe that anyone would have been stupid enough to kill the Son of God. You think ‘What a bunch of idiots. If we were around when Jesus was alive we would have followed him, only a complete moron would have killed him!’ But, what you don’t see is that you are just like his killers, so your criticisms of them are criticisms against yourselves! So keep it up, you are just digging your own graves!
You are just another generation in a long line of slithering venomous snakes, so how do you expect not to be damned to Hell? Jesus sends you people to show you the truth so, to shut them up, you kill them, and you torture them (even in your holy churches) and however you can get away with it you generally just persecute them everywhere. Your hands are stained with all the righteous blood shed on earth, from the blood of those you are jealous of, to the blood of those that you killed supposedly in the name of God because they opposed you.
Seriously, you are condemned! You take on the name of his Church and then kill the people who speak the truth! God wanted you to trust him, he wanted you to depend on him, but you didn’t want any part in that. He will destroy everything you have built and the next time you see Christ will be when he is damning you to Hell as you cry out your empty words “BLESSED IS HE WHO COMES IN THE NAME OF THE LORD!”
Finally the cops came and dragged him away for disturbing the peace. Thank God! What anger! What hurtful words! How could anyone speak this way? This is not redeeming. This is not restorative. This was an angry man, spouting off crazy hate, and ruining my, and everyone’s, nice relaxing afternoon. I wonder what Jesus would think of this guy?
This sounds vaguely familiar. I wonder where I’ve heard this before.
Probably just another religious nut. Those guys are everywhere!
Sounds like the opposite to me. A bit of nut perhaps, but raving against religiosity as far as I can tell. The words he spoke are a verbatim translation of Jesus’ words over 2000 years ago except slightly modernized. If you were to read the translation in The Message, a new age version of the Holy Bible, you will find the similarities astonishing. Even in the ESV version you can feel the venom in the words of Jesus.
Priests are anointed ones.
Are they? Please elaborate and explain the relevance of that statement to this post. Thanks.
it’s true lots of preachers have failed to do all that God has instructed. there are some just in it for their glory not God’s. but it is a shame when there are a few doing what should be done being hurt for the ways of a lot of others who are not. we need to get back to the basics
I think there are lots of warnings here. More than just the warning against selfish gain. I think another big warning is not to burden people with unbiblical rules and expectations. Jesus’ burden is light. Jesus freed us from the burden of trying to be good enough for God, but how many sermons try to guilt people into doing stuff? Too many!
I think that if he is angry that there must be a reason,I know from experience that a lot of what he said is true…my faith in God was on shaky ground for a long time,and even today I cannot reconcile with the church,but I do believe in God and He has never left me through all of my pain and suffering…people in church who smile and welcome you with a hug wont even say hi if you see them on the street,and if you miss attending church no one comes to ask why,this is only part of what I experienced sadly.
Brenda. May I ask who the “he” you referred to is? If you mean the man who went on this rant, I think I ought to clarify that he is fictional and part of the sarcasm of the post. These words are a modernized version of something Jesus said in Matt 23, and yes, he did have a very good reason to be angry. Thanks for the comment, and I’m very sorry that you have been hurt by so called brothers and sisters in Christ. That really sucks.
The first he was referring to the man who was ranting,the capitalised He was referring to God…and yes I recognised this post as being Matthew 23 in todays time,I found it interesting
.. As to my being hurt yes it does suck and it hurt a lot…but I also believe that things happen for a reason. God knows all and sees all and He allowed this to happen to me for a reason.I really like reading your posts,they make me think 
Thanks for responding Brenda. I just wanted to make sure that we were on the same page, and I’m glad that we are! I appreciate your positive attitude about the hurt you have been through. God is truly in control, but that is a really hard concept to connect with sometimes for me, especially when I am hurt by other people. It’s good to see that you seem to “get” it. Also, I’m really glad you find my blog interesting and that it makes you think. your comments have made me think, and I appreciate that very much!
Only in the USA, not in Canada. — Pity!
Huh? Please elaborate.
Confused Canadian, me that is.
I think I’m going to take the good from this; incorporate it into my daily life. heyyyy… thank you kindly!
Huh? That’s good, I guess…
I’ve wtnessed this type of attitude many times. I too, have been asked to leave the church. I have come to understand over the years that for every bad leader ie. priest/pastor there are many more God fearing leaders. I allowed the church to forget me for many years. I learned through that time that I am effected by the church as much as I allow. Bitterness that I experienced through the church affected only me. Don’t ever Allow a bad church leader or brother or sister to tear you down because ultimately it effects only you. The church carries on.
What do you think Jesus might have said to bad church leaders?
Ultimately we are the ” Church “, so no matter what goes on around us in a church, really should not determine where you are in your walk with God. People will be people whether they are of the ” Cloth” or not….if you want to get hurt prepare yourself because the church is a good place to learn the actual ropes of the politics of a church. ” keep your eyes on Jesus and all else will be given to you. ” We are able to smile and not let anything interfere, we can confront in love if necessary, we can leave and pray for Holy Spirit to lead us in the direction HE has for us to travel. The word BUSY….means: Being Under Satans Yoke. Controlling our every move and cluttering our spirit with too much to do and too much time spent on ” GOOD ” things, but not necessarily
“GOD ” things or should I say HIS WILL in our lives.
BE BLESSED PEOPLE, HOLD NO OFFENSE, LOVE THROUGH IT ALL AND KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE PRIZE….JESUS CHRIST HIMSELF.