We all love beating up on other people. I don’t care what you say, I know you love doing it, so quit lying to yourself. You know why we love it? Because it helps us think for a few minutes that we aren’t quite the total screw-ups that we know we are. This is one of my favorite things to do!
The best part is when this activity is encouraged by the guys that usually make us feel terrible about ourselves: pastors. They always preach against gossip and judgmentalism and stuff, (except the really badass new wave of holy rollers, they love judgment! Hellfire and brimstone, bitches!) but there is always at least one group of people that they encourage us to bust up on. Bible characters. You know, Jonah didn’t want to do what God told Him to do, Joseph was going to ditch Mary for getting supernaturally knocked-up, Moses was always bitching about how he couldn’t speak well, that old hag Sarah laughed at God when he told her she was going to be popping out babies, those damned Jews were constantly doubting God when he was freeing them from slavery. Those bible people were so messed up. How could they not have trusted God better?
You wanna know why? Because no one would have! These are the few stories in the Bible that I don’t struggle to connect with. Be honest with yourself for five seconds: if some teenage girl told you that God had put a baby in her, it would make perfect sense, right? Give me a break, that girl is using a terrible excuse to try and fool people into thinking she isn’t a little whore. We would ALL think that. That is a fact. Virgins don’t get pregnant. Joseph had some balls though, cause he sucked up what must have been serious ridicule and after an angel told him it was legit he stayed with Mary.
How about God tells you to go talk to the president and let him know that you’re going to take a bunch of people (that he gets free labor out of) away from him? How could Moses have not trusted God? Because God wanted him to tell a king that he was going to take away all his slaves! Think about that. That is retarded. I would NEVER have done it. Moses had a way bigger sack than I will ever have!
Or those Jews, stuck in the dessert? Thousands and thousands of them. How dare they ever question the complete insanity of that situation! And then Sarah. She laughed when God told her she was going to have a baby. The woman was old enough to be a great-great grandmother. Seriously, that is some crazy shit!
I don’t know that this post has a point. I am thinking a lot about scripture lately. Thinking a lot about the stuff that i struggle to see fitting into reality. This list of people who doubted or questioned God’s plans are a few of the parts of the bible I think are perfectly realistic and sensible. I think if most of us were honest, or if we could live these stories, rather than reading them in our holy book, the reaction these people had to God’s plan would resonate with all of us.